Fellas: Talking About Feelings Isn’t Weakness, It’s Leadership

This Movember, a reflection on strength, care, and the quiet work of opening up.

Each November, the Movember movement turns mustaches into small symbols of solidarity, a visible reminder that men’s health matters. It’s a campaign that began with physical health in mind, raising awareness for prostate and testicular cancer, and has since expanded to include mental and emotional well-being.

Caring for your health isn’t just about your body, it’s about your mind, your relationships, and your sense of belonging in the world. Choosing to care for yourself emotionally isn’t just self-preservation, it’s leadership that impacts all your relationships.

Why It’s Hard to Talk About Feelings

Many men find it difficult to open up about their inner lives. It’s not because they don’t feel deeply, they do. It’s because from a young age, most boys are taught that strength means independence, control, and stoicism. That emotions are risky, dangerous, or unproductive. That vulnerability risks ridicule and rejection.

Over time, those lessons narrow the emotional landscape. Anger, pride, and confidence become the acceptable languages of feeling. Sadness, fear, longings, or tenderness are tucked away. Humor, logic, or distraction take their place.

By adulthood, this pattern becomes second nature, a quiet belief that “I should be able to handle this myself.” Even when relationships strain, work becomes overwhelming, or health begins to suffer, asking for support feels foreign. It’s not that men don’t care, they care deeply. It’s that caring for themselves emotionally hasn’t been part of the script.

The Cost of Silence

When emotions stay buried, they don’t disappear. They settle in the body, shaping mood, energy, and relationships. Frustration simmers. Distance grows. Partners feel the disconnect. Children sense tension even when no one speaks of it. Over time emotional expression narrows to problems with anger, anxiety and depression or becomes repressed with unhealthy habits such as problem drinking, over-working, and avoidance. 

Silence can feel safer, but it slowly disconnects men from the people who matter most and from themselves. True leaders recognize that strength isn’t control, it’s connection. And connection begins with being seen, even when it feels risky.

Opening up doesn’t have to be dramatic. It might begin with a simple conversation, a moment of honesty with a friend, or quiet self-reflection. Each step toward naming what’s real allows space for insight, trust, connection, and influence.

What Happens When Men Begin to Open Up

When men start to explore their emotions, they often find relief and deeper connection. Naming what’s happening inside makes room for new choices: listening more openly, communicating with empathy, setting boundaries with care.

Over time, this kind of growth reshapes not only relationships but identity itself. It expands what strength means. It makes space for a masculinity that includes softness, accountability, and care.

Opening up is not weakness, it’s leadership. Leaders are not defined by how unshakable they appear, but by their courage to face discomfort, make responsible choices, and guide others with authenticity. Whether through a trusted friend, partner, or therapist, this is about building influence grounded in emotional intelligence, trust, and heart.

What About Therapy?

Therapy can help men develop emotional literacy: the ability to name, understand, and communicate feelings. That skill strengthens every relationship: romantic, familial, professional. In couples therapy, men often discover that vulnerability doesn’t lead to loss of respect; it builds trust. They learn tools for empathy, communication, and conflict resolution that improve not just their partnerships but their parenting and friendships too.

The right therapist is a caring but objective third party that can help you explore your inner world without judgement or shame. The right therapist allows you to show up just as you are (dusty work boots and swearing welcome here) and help you feel comfortable in the space. The right therapist will harness your strengths like humor and a logical brain and invite you to explore more deeply the things that matter most to you. It’s not about rejecting strength but expanding it. The right therapist can help you harness fear into courage. The courage to sit in discomfort, take responsibility, and choose connection over isolation. Therapy isn’t about fixing what is broken but building more resilience and connection to yourself and the people you care about most.

A Movember Invitation

Movember is about visibility, but it’s also about courage. The courage to check in, to ask, How am I really doing?

Maybe that question leads to a deeper conversation with a friend. Maybe it leads to sharing more honestly with your partner. Or maybe it leads to reaching out for support in a new way.

Whatever the next step looks like, it’s an act of care and leadership, not weakness. Because when men tend to their inner worlds, they show up differently: as partners, parents, colleagues, and leaders.

And that kind of strength, rooted in honesty, humility, and heart, changes everything.

A Moment for Reflection

If you’re reading this and noticing the places you keep things to yourself, take a slow breath. Ask gently:

• What might open up if I stopped trying to hold it all alone?
• What would it mean to see care as courage?
• How can exploring my inner world more deeply guide me to lead more effectively in my relationships and my life?

Brooke Bertrand, MA, RP, owner of Bright Raven Psychotherapy and brings over 20 years of experience helping clients navigate relationships, anxiety, burnout, addictions, and relational trauma. Trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, she guides partners toward real connection—and even reaches those who never thought therapy was for them.

 Off the clock, she’s chasing two teenagers around hockey rinks. She believes life is lived best with humor, the love of cats, great books, good tea, and a great playlist.

 Brooke’s Inside Voice will bring common therapy topics into the public spotlight, exploring the issues that quietly shape our relationships. From mental health and the hustle of modern life to the joys and challenges of being human and seeking connection to ourselves and others, Brooke shares insights that help readers understand themselves, their loved ones, and the ties that bind us.